​Why are we always asking for the sit?  It has always seemed like the good “obedient” choice on our part for our dog to provide.  I’ve been in that place myself.  I wanted my Great Dane to sit patiently.  Then I had an epiphany. 
 
Last year we brought our adolescent dane RuhRoh to a group class.  Hubby kept asking her to sit.   She was being a very good dog, she was calmly greeting people and dogs.  She was walking with a loose leash.  She was being such a freaking good dog! However she would not sit on cue in that environment.
 
So why were we upset? Aside from being embarrassed, it was the way WE had been trained, the dog should sit. It is the first behavior we are taught in training school and in training classes. It's time to rethink sit, and here are some of the reasons why as well as how SIT may not be the best option for our dogs. 

1.  Sit before entering a doorway.  Why should our dog have to sit before entering a doorway?  In the old days it was thought that if a dog entered first they were trying to be dominant over us.  In actuality they are usually just excited about what is on the other side.  As an alternative polite behavior a "check in" and pause will help you and your dog be on the same page, is usually faster and adds another step in a relationship built on respect. ​

1. 2.  Sit before leashing up for a walk.  Did you know that harnesses are best fit while the dog is standing? Sitting expands the chest and scrunches the abdomen. Since standing is the natural position while on a walk it's the better option for putting one on and you will better know if the harness needs to be adjusted. 
2. 3.  Sitting for greetings.  Sitting puts some dogs into a launch sequence. You might get that momentary sit but then they launch off the ground like a rocket. Focus instead on keeping the dog’s “four on the floor” by rewarding for position, placing the treat on the floor BEFORE the jump.  Keep rewarding that position so that the dog is soon looking to the floor rather than jumping.

​Things to think about: Some surfaces may be hot, hard, rocky or in some other way uncomfortable to our dog.  Finally, and  most important, as a dog ages those sits can become painful and hard on the hips. 
 
"Standing waits" will give you and your dog calm go-to skills that are much more convenient to both you and your dog.  To teach this behavior while the dog is standing next to you say their name and reward when they look at you. Practice it a lot, then take it to the doorway, both going out and in. Do this when your hands aren’t full or you aren’t wrangling children, so that they make the connection that waiting calmly is worthwhile.  Then add in distractions such as carrying a bag or box, engage a friend to help with greetings on walks.  One step at a time.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
 
When someone disagrees with science based positive reinforcement training  they use a word that scares me, but also inspires me. The word respect.  “My dog does it because he respects me”   “I don’t want to bribe my dog, they need to do it out of respect”.  The word comes up a lot in their argument.  The thing is, it also comes up when I explain my training methods.  I respect the dog, our training is respectful.  We earn the dog’s respect.  We reward their good work with something they want.  Something they will work for.  Yes, we use a  lot  of treats.  We  also  use  love,  praise,  attention,  play.   We build a relationship based on respect.

    re·spect1
     /rəˈspekt/
     noun
   a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
     "the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor"
     due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
     "young people's lack of respect for their parents"
     verb
     admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
      "she was respected by everyone she worked with"
 
Respect is elicited by or admiration of another’s qualities or achievements, which must be earned.   But the “respect” they reference is actually compulsory obedience that is based on the fear of consequence, the consequence of a punishment.  My dog will do it because he respects me. Unspoken is the “or else”. Based on fear, not respect.
 
   fear 1
    /ˈfir/
    noun
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain,
    or a threat.
    "he is prey to irrational fears"
    verb
    be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
    "farmers fear that they will lose business"
 
   com·pul·so·ry 1
    /kəmˈpəlsərē/
    adjective
    required by law or a rule; obligatory.
    "compulsory military service"
    involving or exercising compulsion; coercive.
    "the abuse of compulsory powers"
 
 When building a relationship it should be built on respect.  Our dogs respect us because I treat them with respect.  We make sure their needs are met, without fear of consequence.
 
   re·la·tion·ship 1
    /rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/
    Noun
   the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
    the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.
 
This is what we mean by relationship based training, a relationship built on respect. 
 
Ronda Warywoda, CPDT-Ka, UW-AAB
www.29k9.net

​1 Definitions from Oxford Languages

Stub-born: /ˈstəbərn/ adjetive
having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

Have you ever referred to your dog as stubborn or had another trainer say this about your dog? Is the dog actually stubborn or is the human? If we keep doing something that is not working and we know it isn't working then aren't we being the stubborn ones? Especially if we know there are other methods that may work better?

First we need to find proper motivation. Just like we may be motivated by different things, so are dogs. Using my own dogs as an example I have one that is ball or toy motivated. She will do anything, absolutely anything, for a ball or squeaky toy. I have one that is very food motivated. Especially when it comes to cheese. Then I have one that will do anything to get a drink of water from a water bottle. Last, our newest arrival, changes what motivates him.  Sometimes it's food and sometimes it's attention.   Motivation can change, depending upon their mood (and if they are hungry). Learning what motivates them gives us a better relationship, mutual respect and a less frustration.

What doesn't motivate? Punishment.  Punishment suppresses, it does not build a relationship based on respect or trust.  It also causes confusion and can lead to fall out behaviors of anxiety, fearfulness, and even aggression. 

We’ve all seen the stories of the shelter dog who finally finds his person and they live happily ever after in perfect harmony.  Unfortunately, this is not the norm.  When a dog ends up in a shelter they have suddenly lost their family with no idea why.  The reason doesn’t matter because the dog does not know that reason, just that his home and family are gone.  The rescue or shelter may be amazing but it is not their home. 

It can be very hard for a dog to adjust to shelter life.  Staff and volunteers come and go, as do the dogs around them.  They can hear other dogs barking, sometimes in fear, as well as smell the disinfectants.  They don’t know what is going to happen from one moment to the next as they are moved from one kennel to another to a play yard with strange dogs.  When a person or family makes the decision to adopt the dog they are then thrown in to another new place with new people and maybe even new dogs.  This also applies to the "rehomed" dog.  
 
Be patient.  You will want to show off our new family member but please remember that Fido’s world has been turned upside down and he needs time to decompress and adjust.  Supervision is very important to make sure he doesn’t escape his new home and is safe with the new people and pets in his life.
 
Dogs do not generalize behaviors to all locations unless taught.  They may have been house trained but that doesn’t mean they are trained to your house.  They may have had a doggy door which allowed them free access.  Set up a way for the dog to tell you they have to go by using a bell hanging from the door.  Take them out frequently, ringing the bell before you open the door.  Soon Fido will be ringing the bell to let you know.
 
For the first three weeks your new dog is building his trust in you and learning some of the family rules.  Separate Fido from children and other pets when you are not there to actively supervise.  What may be normal activity in your home may not be something he is familiar with and may cause fear.  He needs time to process and learn the family rules.  Now is not the time to take him to the dog park.  You will start to see his personality come out. You may also see some challenges that need to be addressed with a positive reinforcement trainer.
 
It takes about 3 months for most dogs to fully adjust.  Fido may need a trainer to help him learn how to follow family rules, social skills, leash training and safely introducing to new dogs and environments.  Adding lots of enrichment can help him learn to settle and keep him out of trouble.

A great resource for bringing home an adult dog is Patricia McConnell, PhD  book Love Has No Age Limit, Welcoming an Adult Dog Into Your Home.  She discusses the Rule of 3s and how to apply it to making your new family member feel welcome and wanted.   

First Introductions
              First introductions should be outside, preferably in neutral turf.  Take the dogs on  a side by side walk. This helps tire an active puppy and while providing a happy back drop before entering the yard and home.

  Supervise
              It is important that all early interactions be supervised.  Whether a new puppy or an older
dog it can take a few weeks for everyone to get used to the new family member and new normal.  Watching body language closely during this adjustment period can help prevent future problems.   Separate the dogs if you are not able to closely supervise, especially during the first 3 weeks, until they have time to adjust to each other.
 
Separate
              Baby Gates, crates and Xpens make great separators so that the dogs can have down time where they feel safe and comfortable.   Separate eating areas since new puppies can be overly curious and older dogs may not appreciate a puppy interrupting them.
 
Escape Route
              Make sure there is always an escape route so that the dogs don’t feel cornered.  Have a clear path to get away can make the difference in whether a dog goes for the bite or not.
 
No Punishment
              No matter what happens do not punish either dog.  Punishment can make a bad association between the dogs resulting in escalation of aggressive type behaviors.
 
Reward
              Reward when the dogs are getting along, whether playing with or simply being in the same room, be sure to reward with attention, special treats or even going outside.  This will help cement that good things happen when the other dog is around.
 
Intervene
              Watch for body language that indicates a problem may develop and intervene early with time apart to de-escalate.  Older dogs may be tolerant up to a point so watching their eyes, ears, tail position and watch the puppy for signs that he is getting too ‘in the face’ of the older dog and needs time apart to calm down.
 
Time
              Give the dogs time to become acquainted and adjusted.  This creates a foundation rather than forcing them into a relationship that isn’t comfortable.  Following the Rule of 3s, after about 3 weeks you should see things moving toward a comfortable co-existence and, depending upon the ages, playing together. 
 
Warnings
              Watch the body language.  Lots of licking can be a sign of increasing anxiety which means the dog is not adjusting to the new dog.  If the puppy yelps and the older dog does not back off but instead escalates it’s time for a break. You’ve hit the 3 week mark with no improvement.  Any of these should net a consult with a fear-free professional.   

So called "balanced trainers" will often say that trainers must have more than one tool in their toolbox when justifying the use of aversives (prong collars, choke chains, e-collars, squirt bottles...)  Science based positive trainers have many tools in their tool box but NONE of these tools hurt or scare. Balanced trainers often jump to the aversive because they think a treat isn't working or "it's faster" but they don't step back and look at the big picture.  How does a science based trainer approach differ? We look at the big picture and then break it down and then focus on changing the dog's behavior. Let's take that common unwanted behavior of jumping on people.
 
1.  What is the unwanted behavior: Jumping
2.  When does it occur: People coming in the door 
3.  What is the motivator: Attention
4.  What is the wanted behavior: Sit

What do we need to do:  Manage the environment to prevent the behavior from continuing, teach and motivate the new behavior, teach the human how not ro reinforce the unwanted behavior when reintroducing the dog to the environment.

For the jumper we manage the environment by preventing Fido from being in the environment where the jumping occurs.  When someone is coming in the door have Fido outside or in another room. Next, we teach the new wanted behavior, sit, until sit is generalized to many situations, locations and with distractions.  Before we bring Fido back in we must teach the human that  any attention is good attention to a dog and rewards the unwanted behavior.  Yelling, waving your arms, pushing Fido away can be a favorite game.  Take all of this attention away by turning sideways with your arms crossed and no eye contact.   Say "sit" once and then wait for it. It's hard not to repeat the cue but it is important that the dog makes the choice to provide that behavior and it will get faster as they connect the reward to the behavior. 

​In the beginning  this takes time so don't try to do this part while you are in a hurry.  Jumping has given Fido a lot of attention in the past so he's going to have to work thru it in his brain that jumping no longer nets him any attention.  He may even do the sit a few times and then suddenly you may have what is called an "extinction burst".  This is when Fido, after doing well, reverts back to that unwanted jumping with a little more gusto in a last ditch attempt to get that jump to reward him with the attention.  He is thinking "it worked for a long time, surely it will work again".  Now is the time to stand firm.  Practice this every day with family members first, then ask friends to work with you.  Have treats by the door and tell visitors what you are working on and what you want them to do so that Fido has the best chance at being successful in learning to make the right choices.
 
This is how reward based training works.  We identify the challenge, identify the motivator (or reward). We identify the wanted behavior. We manage the unwanted behavior by preventing the situation. We teach the wanted behavior.  We ask for the wanted behavior while ignoring the unwanted behavior. This way we avoid punishments that the dog does not understand and, according to repeated studies, reward based training helps set up solid foundations that can prevent long term problems.  It allows the dog to learn to make right choices and build self control, creating a life long family member that you enjoy spending time with rather than a dog who is submitting out of fear of the next punishment.