Relationship Based Training...It's Based on...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
 
When someone disagrees with science based positive reinforcement training  they use a word that scares me, but also inspires me. The word respect.  “My dog does it because he respects me”   “I don’t want to bribe my dog, they need to do it out of respect”.  The word comes up a lot in their argument.  The thing is, it also comes up when I explain my training methods.  I respect the dog, our training is respectful.  We earn the dog’s respect.  We reward their good work with something they want.  Something they will work for.  Yes, we use a  lot  of treats.  We  also  use  love,  praise,  attention,  play.   We build a relationship based on respect.

    re·spect1
     /rəˈspekt/
     noun
   a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
     "the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor"
     due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
     "young people's lack of respect for their parents"
     verb
     admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
      "she was respected by everyone she worked with"
 
Respect is elicited by or admiration of another’s qualities or achievements, which must be earned.   But the “respect” they reference is actually compulsory obedience that is based on the fear of consequence, the consequence of a punishment.  My dog will do it because he respects me. Unspoken is the “or else”. Based on fear, not respect.
 
   fear 1
    /ˈfir/
    noun
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain,
    or a threat.
    "he is prey to irrational fears"
    verb
    be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
    "farmers fear that they will lose business"
 
   com·pul·so·ry 1
    /kəmˈpəlsərē/
    adjective
    required by law or a rule; obligatory.
    "compulsory military service"
    involving or exercising compulsion; coercive.
    "the abuse of compulsory powers"
 
 When building a relationship it should be built on respect.  Our dogs respect us because I treat them with respect.  We make sure their needs are met, without fear of consequence.
 
   re·la·tion·ship 1
    /rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/
    Noun
   the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
    the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.
 
This is what we mean by relationship based training, a relationship built on respect. 
 
Ronda Warywoda, CPDT-Ka, UW-AAB
www.29k9.net

​1 Definitions from Oxford Languages

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