​Why are we always asking for the sit?  It has always seemed like the good “obedient” choice on our part for our dog to provide.  I’ve been in that place myself.  I wanted my Great Dane to sit patiently.  Then I had an epiphany. 
 
Last year we brought our adolescent dane RuhRoh to a group class.  Hubby kept asking her to sit.   She was being a very good dog, she was calmly greeting people and dogs.  She was walking with a loose leash.  She was being such a freaking good dog! However she would not sit on cue in that environment.
 
So why were we upset? Aside from being embarrassed, it was the way WE had been trained, the dog should sit. It is the first behavior we are taught in training school and in training classes. It's time to rethink sit, and here are some of the reasons why as well as how SIT may not be the best option for our dogs. 

1.  Sit before entering a doorway.  Why should our dog have to sit before entering a doorway?  In the old days it was thought that if a dog entered first they were trying to be dominant over us.  In actuality they are usually just excited about what is on the other side.  As an alternative polite behavior a "check in" and pause will help you and your dog be on the same page, is usually faster and adds another step in a relationship built on respect. ​

1. 2.  Sit before leashing up for a walk.  Did you know that harnesses are best fit while the dog is standing? Sitting expands the chest and scrunches the abdomen. Since standing is the natural position while on a walk it's the better option for putting one on and you will better know if the harness needs to be adjusted. 
2. 3.  Sitting for greetings.  Sitting puts some dogs into a launch sequence. You might get that momentary sit but then they launch off the ground like a rocket. Focus instead on keeping the dog’s “four on the floor” by rewarding for position, placing the treat on the floor BEFORE the jump.  Keep rewarding that position so that the dog is soon looking to the floor rather than jumping.

​Things to think about: Some surfaces may be hot, hard, rocky or in some other way uncomfortable to our dog.  Finally, and  most important, as a dog ages those sits can become painful and hard on the hips. 
 
"Standing waits" will give you and your dog calm go-to skills that are much more convenient to both you and your dog.  To teach this behavior while the dog is standing next to you say their name and reward when they look at you. Practice it a lot, then take it to the doorway, both going out and in. Do this when your hands aren’t full or you aren’t wrangling children, so that they make the connection that waiting calmly is worthwhile.  Then add in distractions such as carrying a bag or box, engage a friend to help with greetings on walks.  One step at a time.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
 
When someone disagrees with science based positive reinforcement training  they use a word that scares me, but also inspires me. The word respect.  “My dog does it because he respects me”   “I don’t want to bribe my dog, they need to do it out of respect”.  The word comes up a lot in their argument.  The thing is, it also comes up when I explain my training methods.  I respect the dog, our training is respectful.  We earn the dog’s respect.  We reward their good work with something they want.  Something they will work for.  Yes, we use a  lot  of treats.  We  also  use  love,  praise,  attention,  play.   We build a relationship based on respect.

    re·spect1
     /rəˈspekt/
     noun
   a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
     "the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor"
     due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
     "young people's lack of respect for their parents"
     verb
     admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
      "she was respected by everyone she worked with"
 
Respect is elicited by or admiration of another’s qualities or achievements, which must be earned.   But the “respect” they reference is actually compulsory obedience that is based on the fear of consequence, the consequence of a punishment.  My dog will do it because he respects me. Unspoken is the “or else”. Based on fear, not respect.
 
   fear 1
    /ˈfir/
    noun
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain,
    or a threat.
    "he is prey to irrational fears"
    verb
    be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
    "farmers fear that they will lose business"
 
   com·pul·so·ry 1
    /kəmˈpəlsərē/
    adjective
    required by law or a rule; obligatory.
    "compulsory military service"
    involving or exercising compulsion; coercive.
    "the abuse of compulsory powers"
 
 When building a relationship it should be built on respect.  Our dogs respect us because I treat them with respect.  We make sure their needs are met, without fear of consequence.
 
   re·la·tion·ship 1
    /rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/
    Noun
   the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
    the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.
 
This is what we mean by relationship based training, a relationship built on respect. 
 
Ronda Warywoda, CPDT-Ka, UW-AAB
www.29k9.net

​1 Definitions from Oxford Languages

Stub-born: /ˈstəbərn/ adjetive
having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

Have you ever referred to your dog as stubborn or had another trainer say this about your dog? Is the dog actually stubborn or is the human? If we keep doing something that is not working and we know it isn't working then aren't we being the stubborn ones? Especially if we know there are other methods that may work better?

First we need to find proper motivation. Just like we may be motivated by different things, so are dogs. Using my own dogs as an example I have one that is ball or toy motivated. She will do anything, absolutely anything, for a ball or squeaky toy. I have one that is very food motivated. Especially when it comes to cheese. Then I have one that will do anything to get a drink of water from a water bottle. Last, our newest arrival, changes what motivates him.  Sometimes it's food and sometimes it's attention.   Motivation can change, depending upon their mood (and if they are hungry). Learning what motivates them gives us a better relationship, mutual respect and a less frustration.

What doesn't motivate? Punishment.  Punishment suppresses, it does not build a relationship based on respect or trust.  It also causes confusion and can lead to fall out behaviors of anxiety, fearfulness, and even aggression.